Can we talk about post-grad for a second?! As I pass my 1 year anniversary of graduating from college, and watching my friends and family in the class of ‘23 graduate, I have so many emotions. First off, I am so incredibly proud of everyone graduating and so happy to see all that they accomplished!! It also makes me reflect on this past year of “post-grad life”. I received tons of advice from older peers when graduating, saying to make sure you do this, don’t do that. Of course all things were taken into consideration, but we’re always going to do what we choose to do.
Going into this journey, I heard from everyone, “post-grad depression is real”. And I know they were only saying it to prepare me, so that I would get in front of it. However, it was the word depression that would turn me off from what they were saying. I did not want to claim any type of depression over my life. (The power of words is becoming more important to me). So I wouldn’t allow myself to think like that. My year also didn’t start off like most. I stayed up in Chapel Hill with my friends for another month and immediately started traveling for the rest of the summer. Work started immediately after my travels. After experiencing so much fun back to back, I had to start the ‘new normal. I began to feel what people were talking about come the winter time.
That feeling comes in different ways.
- The change in your friendships that you’ve developed. Now you have to put in effort to see people that you would regularly see.
- You are in a new location. In my case, I’m living at home with my mom and great-aunt. That comes with many challenges of it’s own.
- You’re trying to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. Next steps look so daunting because there are so many options that it can make you feel stuck.
- You’re trying to grow within the place where you are now, but you’re also hyperfocused on the future and what your goals are.
- You’re just starting out financially, and trying to figure out how to best save yet do all that you want to do. And it doesn’t make it better with all of the inflation and layoffs going on now and the fear of a recession.
- Finding your hobbies and getting back into doing the things that we love now that we have more time.
- The toxicity that we battle by using social media, yet not wanting to get off of social media…
- And most importantly, this time is about finding our place in society. Finding who we are in the world. Knowing that we are constantly growing and changing as we grow older, but trying to figure out what path out of a million to take.
All of these things combined can lead to so much negativity, especially if you don’t take hold of your thoughts. They can begin to go into dark directions. Feeling down, unmotivated, nothing feels worth it. It’s easy to let this time of confusion, the unknown, and figuring things out bring you down. We’re brought to function as adults while learning on our own.
Personally…
Personally, I felt ashamed for feeling these ways. I was so blessed to have a good job directly out fo college. To have been able to travel the way that I did. To have my own space at home, I get to spend more time with my family, and not have to pay rent. But even in these blessings, I found the negative.
- I didn’t feel like I was reaching my full potential with the role that I had. Or like I was making an impact in the world.
- I wish I had more savings since I used so much of it from traveling.
- I’m living as the only young girl in an African household (which… that pain is justified lmao).
But I still felt these things, and I would feel bad in bringing it up to people who may hope for these things but are on a different path. As time went on, most everyone I spoke to felt this feeling of uncertainty, for their path, for their future. It’s daunting!! We have so many options and we are so young! The world is our oyster but sometimes we wish that we could just receive a clear word on what to do.
Regardless of those who are employed with their dream job, in school, in a job they hate, unemployed, there’s always a “what’s next”? If this is my dream job now, when will I stop growing, and how will I find something better? If I hate my job, how do I utilize it the most for my growth while finding something better simultaneously? And what is that better? If I’m unemployed, how do I enjoy this time to fully understand myself and seek what my future is, with the impending doom looming over my head as well?
There’s so much questioning, and I’m not here to tell you it doesn’t happen. It does, and I’ve experienced it. Yet, there is so much growth from this time. You begin to figure out more about yourself, what you love, what you loath. More of an idea of what your goals are, and you’ll begin to lose the idea of what others have to you is the path the timeline or whatever, and begin to decide your own.
What’s helped me…
The best way I found to get through and grow even more during this time, is through community. Especially those who are in their post-grad journey, or have gotten through a season of post-grad depression. Sowing into those relationships from school that you find so much joy in. Growing those relationships. I feel as though my group of friends from school really began to open up and share what we’ve been going through, and provide encouragement to one another, advice when needed. Because when it seems like you may be losing yourself just to get out of this “season” they will help to remind you of who you are, what you are worth, and that you are not alone. There is always a rainbow at the end of a dark storm.
Another way that I have found comfort is through different groups that fit my interest. I joined a woman’s group from my church, and the amount of wisdom and comfort that I received from them really encouraged me. Even though I was much younger than many of them, learning from them and gaining their Godly advice, as well as giving some where I could is such an enriching thing that has helped me. Also going to fitness groups/run clubs and socializing with people who have a similar interest of fitness. And connecting with more of the travel community at work and on social media, to gain more ideas, tips, and tricks. And talking about travel just brings me so much joy.
Lastly, finding those self-care activities that bring you peace and happiness. For me, doing my devotion daily and reading for fun again has really made me feel at peace. Journaling is something that I have not really gotten into yet, but is something that I know brings a lot of people peace and solace.
You’ve got this
I know that post-grad can be a scary thing to look at, prior to that all we know is school. But it’s time for us to spread our wings. Growth is never something easy, and it’s amazing to know that while it will be hard, you will not be alone. Not only will others around you feel something similar, but those older will have experienced and they can help you. It is such an exciting time to get to know yourself better, grow within yourself as an adult, and see who you really are.
Don’t be afraid, but embrace the unknown. Embrace that you have so much to look forward to as well as so much to learn. Embrace the community that you will build, the support that you will build, and the self-confidence that you will build. You will figure it out, you will be okay, you will have the life that you want and dream of. Do not only hope of the future, but focus on the present, your growth in the present, and how you will grow in the present.